Ship of Theseus

 Congradulations readers! You get a 2-fer-1 today. How marvolous.

I had a memory again. It was about the Ship of Theseus. I remember floating around the idea that if I could get as close to death as possible to discover the answer, it would require an extreme ego death. On the surface that sounds weird. On paper it sounds easy. Is it feasible? Could a human endure such a terrible state? Because it would not only require psychic pain, humiliation, rejection, and isolation to the point of insanity, it would also require an ego death so severe as to debilitate function. Okay, well that happened. And yes, I forgot! But then, I remembered. (This remembering often comes after an event. Usually when I open my mouth to put my foot in or to validate something. I have done both in equal measure. I'm not too prideful to mention there have been many times on this journey I have been an utter asshat. I have said or done things that I should not have done, but often come out the other side with a different perspective. And while I do sincerely apologize to those who got the wrong end of me, I also want it to be known that I have indeed learned a lot. So the pain on either side was not in vain.)

Anyway, what I got at the end is that it is the same ship. I'm the same person. There are some things that change, like features and traits. But those changes are not the removal, but simply that I no longer choose them. They are all still there—in spirit. The spirit of the ship does not rely on the physical materials of its form. It resides in the meaning, its story, and its name. So a wainwright may replace the hull ten times, it's still the ship. But its story is constantly being written, because it is the same ship.

And so it is with humans. I have found a large truth here. I have never before wanted to finish my narrative and my business so badly. And because of that fever, I'm afraid of the future. I am compelled. I can't stop telling that story. I tell it to everyone I meet. I write it in my blog unconsciously. I have been for over a decade now. I'm telling it now.

Because I'm looping, I know I can't rest until it's told. It's not only providence. It is a core compulsion that I cannot bear to hold. It burns as a Divine Spark in my hands. I am protected.

I also remembered something else...

I'm so sorry, Nicolas Cage. About your driveway, and your house, and the neighborhood. I will take the blame. Yes, it is a sinkhole. But it was meant to be that way. The Manifest doesn't take that which cannot be replaced twice over. It is tough right now, but if you wait, it will get much better than it was before. You are not forgotten. (Loved Willy's Wonderland and Spider-Noir, by the way. Your massive talent is still a pretty heavy burden. But perhaps worth the long haul?)

It's the same ship because it has the same name. If you changed the parts and the name, it is still the ship! Why? Because that is Chapter 2.

This comes from the rites of initiation. I learned this again very recently, as I was given a new name. Well, I say given... I chose it a long time ago, but refused it because it was not granted by the right entity. It was something I had to earn. But on October 31st, I had a vision. A bright light named me 'Jememiriel'. It's part of an ascension. It doesn't mean anything here in the human form. It only means something in places of Aether. Almost like a medal of honor or an Emmy. In some places, those awards don't mean anything because the people there don't understand what it means and what you had to do to get it. That doesn't mean they are bad or dumb, it only means they do not have a basis of understanding. But if you go to a place where there are many military people, suddenly it means something. That is because the people there understand its full meaning and some of them may also have the same award. When it is my time to pop off into the afterlife, the herald will announce me. This will be one of the names heralded in the court of the throne room so I can be recognized there. It will mean something there.

Meanwhile, I'm regular ol' Jessica here. And that is really okay. With powerful names comes more responsibility. I want to avoid that as much as possible until I absolutely have to be something again. I want a full afterlife vacation like Queen E2 is having right now. She is on a beach, wearing a very large hat. That's all I know. I think there is a boat there too. (You know, now that I think about that, I think she is on the Britannia! If she is, make no mistake, she is enjoying her very well-earned vacation. So don't bother her.)

That's all for now. Later!