Understanding

The Doctor turned back around to the console and said nothing. His body static blipped into a series of lines that pulsed quickly.

I didn't say anything more. I was busy observing. I say observing because I wasn't watching him with my eyes. I was watching him with my intuition. The close proximity made that easy. And now that I wasn't wrapped up in my own internal hate dialog, I understood that there were some serious things missing from his demeanor.

He didn't dance around the console. His banter was gone. His attitude had turned and was subdued. The Doctor had turned old, for lack of better words. The roller coaster of sudden maturity was a red flag to me.  If I asked him about it, I knew, I don't know how, but I did, I knew, he would lie.

"Doctor, are you okay? I didn't mean to yell..." I started.

"I'm fine. I'm always fine," he said.

"Liar," I accused.

He left the console and came at me. "When we get your hand fixed, I am returning you home. Until then, do not look. I am telling you that you do not have permission to look. You do not have perm..."

"Doctor, I swear to you I am not looking. I swear! It's just happening. I'm not probing, looking, or searching, on purpose."

He pointed at me. "You are not supposed to know things. I am the one who knows things. You aren't even supposed to be here!"

"Yes, I am. The woman told me so. Also, I would like to point out I don't remember how I got here," I said. "From my perspective, I simply appeared. Faded in." I went quiet. He lowered his hand. I went on. "Although, I think I am doing a bad job of not upsetting you. I promised I would stop. So I have." 

He paused. I imagine he was staring at me. I couldn’t tell, of course, because I couldn’t see his face. "Stand up there," he ordered and pointed to the loft. "Just stand over there and stay out of range."

I sulked up to the loft. "I don't understand why you want to be so shielded." I sat in one of the chairs next to a bookcase.

"I am not shielding myself. Your surface thoughts are annoying."

I laughed. "Liar. You found them amusing," I said.

"Yes, in the beginning. Now, they are boring. You are boring."

"Liar," I whispered.

"I heard that," he yelled.

I rolled my eyes. I knew that he was doing. It didn't take a genius to figure it out. In times of doubt, he needs to retreat, to run away and think of something. He couldn't run away from his ship. That was the thing he ran away in. So, the option was to exile me to a spot where he had privacy. I wasn't going to object. This situation was bizarre for me, but more so for him. 

I looked at my hand. The green hue and brown lines had spread down past my wrist. It was going right up my forearm and it wouldn't be long before it reached my shoulder. It didn't hurt. I could move it normally. 

I dropped my hand and looked down at him. He was busy talking to the console and making a fuss. The ship responded by making noises that sounded like an engine that wouldn't start. 

"No. No. No!" he said, aggravated. The Doctor sprinted to a translucent metal floor panel, picked it up, and dove into the underbelly of the console unit.

The TARDIS made a stuttering sound and went silent. I face palmed. "I am so stupid," I whispered. The shadow Doctor's sullen demeanor wasn't only me, and me being in his way. The TARDIS was playing up. She sounded sick. The Doctor was worried about that too. There was absolutely nothing I could do to help him with that. Not that he would except the help even if I could.  

In the muffled silence, I picked up singing again; two songs at counter-point. I looked over at the door to the inner halls of the ship. The siren's call and my own intuition pulled me to the door. The portal opened on its own and the singing got louder. So, I followed it.

The first song lead me down the halls of spiral colors to a room, deeper than I should be. I knew that if the Doctor knew I was here, he would kick me out of his ship so fast my head would spin. However, I also knew that I was going somewhere, I was being lead. If I wasn't, there would have been doors to snoop into. But the whole trip down the rabbit hole was missing entryways, doors, and tunnel openings. There was only one way to go. I followed the tunnels and turnings until I reached a door. It opened by itself and I went in.

The room was dimly lit. In the middle, stood a great old tree. Hanging from its branches were yellow luminescent orbs. It was covered in tendrils of bines, that stretched and curled into the walls. Its roots had grown firmly planted into the floor. I didn't understand how this could be The floor was clearly made of metal. As I walked around the tree, it pulsed with light. These pulses of light pumped through the orbs, branches, bines, and into the walls. 

I reached up to touch it but I stopped when I noticed my hand. The greenish hue was no longer green, instead, it had the faint aura of yellow. When my heart beat, the lines on the wound responded alike, pumping a soft light through the lines of the infection.

My attention was diverted back to the tree. The song turned sad. It was a song of question and permission. A plea for assistance for the sake of something so important and so loved. 

"I am listening," I said to the tree. "Tell me."

The song of the tree stopped and the door to the room opened again. The counter song took prominence in my ears. So, I followed that song out of the room.

Once more, I was lead down the corridors and tunnels in the same manner as before. No other doors or entryway to explore, except the ones I was given. Then, I reached another door that opened on its own. 

Just inside the door, sat a holographic console. It gave off the 3D image of four strange looking creatures sitting in a circle singing. They were dressed in blue suits, were bald, and had tentacles coming from their faces. Beyond the console, laid a room unending. Rows and rows of walls, with portraits hanging on them. Under each portrait, a name plaque, and a lit candle. 

I stood there staring in disbelief. The song stopped, the console turned off.  I understood. I got the point. I turned around and ran.



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