My spirit woke up and said, "Kaythia, I have had enough of believing, dreaming, and hope. I want to stop."
"Why?" I asked my spirit. "Don't you need those things?"
"No, for some reason you think you do. Personally, I don't want to do those things because to have them, there must also be doubt. Life is about balance, and I have had enough of the struggle between hope and doubt, not to mention the others."
"Well," I said, holding onto my wounded spirit. "What do you suggest?"
"Why do you like Pop culture and Sci-fi?" it asked.
"Belief, Hope, Dreams..."
"Nope. You say that, but that isn't true." it grumped at me. "I wish you would be honest with yourself for once. Think about it."
I pondered a moment in the blankness of my mind, looking not for words this time, but feelings. I found thousands of confusing, swirling feelings and got angry. How on earth could I communicate all of them? "No, there's too much. Can't."
"But that's just it, Kaythia," said my spirit. "That's why you love pop culture. A good Sci-fi SUSPENDS belief. When you are immersed in a Dr. Who story, you don't care or think about things like Women's rights or if the historical costumes are correct. Your belief in everything is suspended, but also YOUR DOUBT. There's no internal struggle because doubt and hope don't exist. There are no expectations or attachments. It's just me and you, sitting in the moment, listening to what comes next. I like that feeling. I like it better than hoping for an expectation that will never be."
"Alright, let's try that for a while. Who knows, maybe that will be better. I'm open to it."
Monday, November 25, 2019
Saturday, November 23, 2019
Crekus shifted nervously in this seat. Then, he started to shake his leg until his side of the table was vibrating. Altin rolled his eyes. “Agent Crekus, please, I sympathize with your nervousness. But that is no reason to vibrate the water from my goblet.”
“Sincere apologies, Agent Altin,” stammered Crekus. “But the response from the Loriens will greatly affect my Reginar, either way. The strain is so much that I regret taking up my nomination. I’ll not escape my government without an ulcer!”
“Or another wife,” joked Agent Tethan to his left. “I know I’ll get the divorce slap when I return home this term. She thought she could seduce me into voting as she wanted; knowing full well my Okasi have me by the scruffies!” The other Agents laughed.
“Brave is the man who votes against his Okasi,” said Agent Onmar.
“Or a damn fool!” added Agent Tethan.
The boisterous male laughter was interrupted by the sound of the gong. Robed Agents rushed into the room and gathered themselves around a large circular table. “All rise,” commanded the herald. “The Grand meeting will now begin. All be seated in peace and equality!” The Agents sat back down again. “Agent Lang has requested to be lead counsel. All in favor, speak—“
Agent Altin turned in his chair. "With all due respect, Herald, could we skip formality in this instance? There is no need for it." The other Agents gave pleased mumble and head nods.
The Herald gave the room a sour look and huffed. “Have it your way, then. I’m only here to serve.”
Agent Altin turned back to the table. “Agent Lang, the letter. We’re all chattering like nervous birds. Report already!”
Agent Lang shook his head. “In short, they have refused.” The tension in the room was cut with a knife of vocal chaos.
“I knew they would ignore all the facts! I said it,” said Agent Crekus. “Information gathering was a waste of our time.” He slapped the surface of the table.
“Now now, Agent Crekus. Let’s hear the specifics,” an unidentified voice rang out. Agent Lang shook his head furiously. “Come now, Agent Lang! Read it!"
Agent Lang reluctantly cleared his throat. “When a contagion occurs in nature, and mutates naturally as it evolves and expands, that contagion is not classified under the Lorillian law or Treaty policies as “Unnatural.” According to our independent studies of the samples you courteously provided, it has been confirmed by our scientists as “a natural forming disease” and thus releases us from any assistance that may be required by the Inter-Union Treaty of the Ninth Tessellation. Furthermore, we will continue to refuse to share long secured biological secrets to a people who can’t possibly understand the ramifications of severe chemical treatments. In addition, The Loriens refuse to help the Anaxi Empire spread their colonies to a world illegally claimed.”
“Illegally claimed! Tesya is not illegally claimed!” objected Agent Onmar.
“Perspective, Agent Onmar. The Loriens have fought about that since they found out about it. Let’s focus on the contagion,” said Agent Altin.
“Severe chemical treatments, did you hear that part? If the Loriens think that we need to treat the contagion with chemicals, they must think it extremely dangerous” said Agent Crekus.
“No! My Reginar would never support Loreins spreading unknown chemicals on anything. You know how the Loriens are!” shouted Agent Tethan.
“We must consider it, Agent Tethan. The contagion has shown its resistance time and time again to our natural methods,” said Agent Crekus. “The last thing we want is for it to travel into our realm! We must do whatever is necessary.”
"Maybe we should go back to the idea of burning it out," said Agent Lang. There was a mumble through the room. "I know! I know! Please let’s not fight. We must be open and consider all the options."
“And while you sit and consider, my Reginar is a day closer to danger. So far it has not shown itself in wildlife, but the letter states it is growing and mutating to adapt! All it’ll take is a good pollen count or a missed Buffalo migration to spread to Belloria,” said Agent Crekus.
“Agent Crekus, hysterics are unbecoming of Agents,” said Agent Altin. “I suggest a recess. I think we could all use a moment to calm down.” There was a wave of agreement around the table. The Herald struck the gong and declared an hour break.