My spirit woke up and said, "Kaythia, I have had enough of believing, dreaming, and hope. I want to stop."
"Why?" I asked my spirit. "Don't you need those things?"
"No, for some reason you think you do. Personally, I don't want to do those things because to have them, there must also be doubt. Life is about balance, and I have had enough of the struggle between hope and doubt, not to mention the others."
"Well," I said, holding onto my wounded spirit. "What do you suggest?"
"Why do you like Pop culture and Sci-fi?" it asked.
"Belief, Hope, Dreams..."
"Nope. You say that, but that isn't true." it grumped at me. "I wish you would be honest with yourself for once. Think about it."
I pondered a moment in the blankness of my mind, looking not for words this time, but feelings. I found thousands of confusing, swirling feelings and got angry. How on earth could I communicate all of them? "No, there's too much. Can't."
"But that's just it, Kaythia," said my spirit. "That's why you love pop culture. A good Sci-fi SUSPENDS belief. When you are immersed in a Dr. Who story, you don't care or think about things like Women's rights or if the historical costumes are correct. Your belief in everything is suspended, but also YOUR DOUBT. There's no internal struggle because doubt and hope don't exist. There are no expectations or attachments. It's just me and you, sitting in the moment, listening to what comes next. I like that feeling. I like it better than hoping for an expectation that will never be."
"Alright, let's try that for a while. Who knows, maybe that will be better. I'm open to it."